Kongwak (Gippsland) Sunday 12th March, 2000

ZXR750 Ben Warden (lead) CBR900RR Ian Payne

ZX7R Rhys Williams (0.5 rear) VFR750 Phill Radcliffe

GSXR750 Ray Walker CBR250RR Mick

ZX900 Wayne Grant FZR1000 Warwick Piper

ZX6 Jeff Wordie GSXR600 Mark Blashki

ZZR600 Geoff Jones (0.5 rear) RGV250 Dave Ward

The Age today has some interesting cow information;

Cows are not sacred in France.

In 1790, one was found guilty of witchcraft and hanged.

A bull that killed a man in Moisey in 1314 got off lightly: it was merely jailed.

"COW" is a Japanese brand of shaving cream. A "Why" is a breed of cow. The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows".

The Watusi breed of cattle like to sleep in a tight-knit group called a glum.

A New Zealand cow was once sentenced to two days in jail for eating grass in front of a city courthouse.

In 1997 a Japanese fishing boat was sunk off eastern Russia by a cow falling from the sky. Russian soldiers had reportedly used a transport plane to steal cattle, but the animals became fractious and the frightened crew drove them out the aircraft's tail loading bay.

Sunday 12th is Melbourne's Grand Prix day and a good day to head for cow country and that never ending series of roads with motor-cycle type corners, all lined with an audience of cows. So into the city pick-up which happened to be near the tram shuttle start area for the free trip to Albert Park. Some very tasty sights indeed; some long forgotten hormones stirring, Maybe I'll use them later on to swoop round one of Ben's promised perfect sweepers.

Nine thirty comes, so Ray (GSXR750) and I head for the South Eastern Freeway and second pick-up at Hallam. Ben arrives and gives the talk to the assembled throng and then we head for the first break at Loch. Not one minute out of the servo at Hallam and more hormones get a good stirring by the sight of a young lady walking her dog, nearly wearing a fetching pink top.

Along the flat, mainly straight roads to Drouin we head, looking out for Mr. Plod, but maybe today he is busy at the GP. However, one never knows, as the Club's favourite cow boy found out recently, on one of my rides also. Sorry Geoff.

Drouin comes and goes and now we head south into cow country and the hunt for the perfect sweeper begins. Athlone, Poowong, on to Loch, where a blind arrival at an intersection caught out the Mick (CBR250RR) but no "incident" to report. Learning curve stuff only.

Loch, market day, and the place is packed. Fuel for bikes and riders is taken on and hormone type views now hard to find. Sensible cow country dress codes adhered to here. South again and on through Krowera and Glen Alvie to the Bass Highway for a short time before turning north, back into the cow covered hills heading for lunch at Korumburra, passing through Kongwak, Moyarra and Kilcunda Road along the way.

More fuel and food and I take rear ride duties to let Rhys (ZX7R) have a bit of a fang on the run up to Drouin. Ian (CBR900) left at lunch and Wayne (ZX900) said goodbye to watch the GP on telly.

After Drouin we continue north through Tarago and Jindivic to the Neerims and turn east at Piedmont for the run to the ride end at Powelltown. All made the completion except Rhys who left at Drouin.

Further details on members and visitors to be added to this tome by stats man Ben but here is list of bikes in capacity order: CBR250, RGV250, ZZR600, ZXR600, GSXR750, VFR750, ZXR750, ZX7R[750], ZX900, CBR900RR.

Home through Yarra Junction, Healesville, Yarra Glen and Christmas Hills added the final touches to the cow country blast. Hope everyone found their perfect sweeper, and thanks to Ben for providing them. He kept them coming all day. No "incidents" reported, but as the write-up ultimatum was issued at ride's end there was not much chance. Weather was great: not too hot south of Drouin but warmer for the run to Powelltown and on to Melbourne.

Geoff Jones (Kawasaki ZZR600)

Geoff sent me the above write-up the next day and I thought it was so funny I replied back with the following email, including a couple of my own observations:

Thanks Geoff, very funny article.

Woman in pink - magnificent! Warwick pulled up to me at the lights and suggested we do a U-turn and go around again!

Apparently there were quite a few near misses on the ride with Warwick (FZR) and Dave (RGV) hard at it all day. Wayne locked up at the nasty left-hander just before Loch, at the end of a straight. Warwick had the rear wheel a foot off the ground somewhere according to Dave. Either Dave or Warwick looked up the front when they nearly ran me over when I stopped to refer to the map around Glen Alvie.

Ian said he was lost a couple of times - which is impressive because he has been in the Club for a long time. I never took a wrong turn - no dirt, but I checked the map a couple of times to be sure.

The trouble with that sort of ride is that out of 10 good corners and one bad corner, you remember the bad corner. And there were some serious bumps in places, but with enough room to get around them safely. In other places road works had fixed the problems since last time.

Jack's short "long" ride a couple of weeks earlier to Cape Patterson, where he got lost, reminded me of these great roads, tantalising close. The area has great views of the sea appearing every now and again, rolling hills with no trees as a result of the clear felling policy of the early settlers offering good visibility. Combine these attributes with high quality, wide bitumen maintained by the relatively affluent dairy farmer funded councils, and it makes the area a hidden motorcycle heaven. The sensational weather on the day just made it all the better. I enjoyed the ride and I am glad you did too.

Ben Warden