Willow Grove – Sunday 18th November

 

Rob Langer – R1150GS           Ian Payne  - CBR919RR

               

I arrived at Yarra Glen just after 10 am to find “no one else” there. Hmm, check the itinerary to ascertain it is the right pick-up point. Yes, well maybe it has something to do with the weather as the rain is just bucketing down!

 

Pretty soon Rob (the leader) arrives telling me I must be mad or real desperate for a ride. We decide to head indoors to the milkbar for a coffee and wait and see if anyone else turns up and what the weather will do. After several coffees and an hour’s worth of conversation we conclude that no other members are coming and, as the weather has not really improved, we should go home. Pity really as Rob had pre-ridden the route during the week and it sounded quite an interesting run. Still, we will save it for a future itinerary!

 

As we prepared to leave a large contingent of bikes started to pass through Yarra Glen. One  stops and it’s Jack Youdan (ex-member) who is on a BMW Club ride and, as Rob is on a BMW, he is invited to join the group. After all those coffees I had an urge to visit the “gents” and so bid them farewell.

 

I headed home via Christmas Hills and catch the stragglers of the BM group but they detour at Watson’s Creek for St. Andrews while I take Pigeon Bank Lane that links up to the Warrandyte road. I get a bit of a surprised on one bend where a group of emergency vehicles are attempting to winch up a car that has gone over the edge. Must be a bit slippery!

 

Apparently Rob had quite a good day out with the BM Club so, although it may not have looked like a great day for riding, there are still certain individuals, keen (mad!!) enough to go out for a ride.

 

Ian Payne (Honda CBR919RR)

 

 

 

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys?  We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!  "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the green keeper.  Let's have a word with him." [Dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The  green keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment, then, the pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea.  And I'm going to contact my  ophthalmologist buddy and see if  there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

 

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".  He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.  After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.  Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion-dollar machines.  They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.  He spent a day studying the huge machine.   At the end of the day, he marked  a small "x" in chalk on a particular  component of the machine and stated,   "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

 

The company received a bill  for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark                        $1

Knowing where to put it         $49,999

 

He was paid in full, and the engineer retired again in peace.

 

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons.  Civil Engineers build targets.

 

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." ----- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

 

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the  wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."  "Both?" the others asked.  "Yeah, replied the engineer:  If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

 

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".  He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

To the optimist, the glass  is half full.  To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.